He read ‘How to be a douche in the exercise room’ cover to cover

INT. EXERCISE ROOM - DAY

OUR HERO uses a stationary bicycle. He notices DOUCHE hanging around outside the door, noisily chatting on his cell phone. DOUCHE enters the exercise room. OUR HERO then watches as DOUCHE:

• Turns on the boom box to a talk radio station.

• Crosses the room, rifles through the old newspapers in the exercise room’s recycle bin, and finds the Sports section.

• Sits on a weight machine bench with the paper on the floor.

• Makes another noisy call on his cell phone.

To OUR HERO’s relief, after five minutes talking inside, he takes the call outside and leaves the radio on.

DOUCHE returns, still on the call. Starts running on the treadmill.

OUR HERO exits.